Falling Off the Blog

I, Mark Edward Lewis, hate parties, don’t you? Especially those thrown in Burbank, or the West Side, or worse yet: Hollywood. Why do we have to go then? If you’re under 25 years old, the answer is quite a bit different than for a 32 year old film director like myself. For those of us not bopping around in search of club-fulfillment, the answer is simple: networking. It’s the synergy that makes the film industry go ‘round. That’s fine…if you like chatting up people you don’t know, laughing at stupid jokes by self-absorbed morons, and screaming at the top of your lungs because of Richter scale rated music. No thanks. I’m an introvert, and so are you. We hate nothing more than getting our charisma and good looks trumped by the clique club suit. But, the successful are reported to attend these debaucheries of biceps, alcohol, cleavage, and fathom deep façades, and we must attend in kind.

The problem: your provocative dress or exceptional posture won’t get a second glance from the clump of chit-chatting partiers you want to meet. The answer? Simple, slick, effective. Get them a refill. Yes, a drink refill. Procedures: first, don’t bother with parties that make you pay for drinks. There’s nobody important at those parties anyway. Second, saddle up to some people you want to start a conversation with, and immediately ask the loudest member of the group if they would like a refill on their drink. Have no shame introvert, interrupt their conversation! Third, whisk yourself off to the bar before they ask you who you are. Mystery piques the imagination, and they’ll be thinking about you every second you’re gone. Don’t rush. Take your time and saunter back. Let them acknowledge you. They’ll interrupt themselves this time. Present your drink, and then introduce yourself and what you do. Of course, they’ll know they’ve been had, but they won’t care. They’ll even give you the time you need for your turbo-charged charisma and wit to reach 2500 rpm. Get the business cards of everyone in the clump, but don’t get drinks for everyone else. It will make the person with the new drink feel more important than those around them, and they’ll remember you for that feeling. Finish the conversation early. Just get the business information and the verbal promise of a meeting and move to the next clump of people (preferably in the next room) and repeat.

Why does this work? Because for the last 6000 years, every guru of every religion says the same thing: serving others will get you everything you want. They’re right. It’s the opposite of what Hollywood says, “when you’re served, you get it all.” Hogwash. It’s all a deception to keep the introverts out of what is primarily an extrovert club. Don’t be discouraged. Trump their nepotism with the service heart suit. It’s an age old paradigm that works…even in Hollywood networking.